Vern Reviews FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS!!

Been waiting for this one for awhile.

Well maybe scorcese will still have a chance…

…Vern. But I was one of the few who wasn’t at all impressed by Million Dollar Baby, so I guess I wasn’t expecting as much from Clint this time out. In fact, I haven’t been all that pleased with anything he’s done since Unforgiven (Mystic River was good but criminally overrated). Think Clint’s got one last Western in him before he rides off into the sunset?

and down-head, nagger shit. Seriously, all of his movies should come with a bottle of Prozac. What in the world happened to give him such a bleak, nihilistic view on life that he would subject audiences to “Mystic River” and “Million Dollar Baby”. I was horrified to hear that he was taking on “Flags of our Fathers” and the best we can hope for is that the movie will be mediocre. Eastwood doesn’t need another Oscar; he needs psycho-therapy.

is supposedly the far superior film. Flags looks good (but to be honest once I started seeing how much time the three leads were getting and the kinda crappy performances in the trailer my hopes went downhill), but Iwo Jima seems like it will be the far more gritty and more traditionally like a war movie.

Any word on The Hard Corps yet? Shame this didn’t match up. How were the performances in general? Can’t say I’m a fan of the cast he got together, Walker and Phillipe in particular. Still, it’s Clint so i will for sure go see. Oh, and looking forward your Departed review…

THIS JUST IN! RACISM IS BAD! SCIENTOLOGIST REVEALS SHOCKING TRUTH! And don’t even get me started on the Deux Ex Stool in MDB… the man should go back to writing crappy TV shows where he belongs.

“…and Paul Haggis (Walker, Texas Ranger).” I, too, have mixed emotions on Haggis. I feel that Crash was a bit trite and was like a 2×4 to the face with how bad and present racism is, even if the movie did have a couple really incredible scenes. But he also wrote Million Dollar Baby, so give him a LITTLE more credit that just Walker, Texas Ranger, Herc.

Man I’m an idiot. This was written by Vern. I’ve been reading the Coaxial way too much. Screw you, addiction-to-Heroes.

…BSB. I’ve been riding Sly pretty hard for going back to that well, but I have to admit a certain morbid curiosity. And for Clint, a return to Dirty Harry would be much the same…familiar, safe territory requiring some suspension of disbelief from all-too-willing fans and would deliver, likely, no surprises at all. But I would like to expect a bit more from Clint. He knocked my shoes clean off with The Unforgiven (the first post-Sergio Leone western I enjoyed since Silverado, which was pretty much its polar opposite). I’d gladly go barefoot again for another unconventional foray into that well-explored frontier. He wouldn’t even have to be in it. I just think he understands that genre like few others alive today.

To make this clear at the risk of being anal, the reference to the “billions of dollars” spent on Iraq is at best vague and subject to the vagaries of inflation. To be more precise, in 1945 the USA spent as a percentage of GDP aprrox 33-35% on the wars in Europe and Japan. For 2005, the percent spent on the war in Iraq was approx 5.5% according to antiwar.com, so yes the government needed to do a lot of fundraising in the 1940s to maintain their martial efforts. Im not arguing the war in Iraq (or for that matter the wars on Japan and Germany) is right or wrong – couldnt care less but military spending is just like you claim this movie to be – complex. And BTW – Eastwood is far from perfect in track record – Space Cowboys was trash imo.

But Walker Texas Ranger is, I believe, the one he is most proud of. (Actually, I don’t think he really did much on that show, I think I read he was hired to rewrite the pilot and ended up with a co-creator credit.) John Galt, I’m not sure what your problem with the stool is, it was very well illustrated how the stool got into the ring. But if you got a problem with it you actually have to take it up with F.X. Toole, who wrote the book Rope Burns. That was one part that came directly from his book. Before you call him a “tool” though keep in mind that he’s the tough guy cut man who Clint’s character was based on.

It sure ain’t the same as another flick, but Eastwood is providing his likeness and recording the dialogue for a next-gen Dirty Harry video game, due out next year. And yes, like all licensed games it will probably suck.

Eastwood will always be the man, but the story felt like “been there, seen that” before.

Eastwood will always be the man, but the story felt like “been there, seen that” before.

I said before I read this review, “I bet he was disspointed by it” and yup, sure did.

Just as I am aware that Peter Benchley wrote the story for JAWS. I am also aware that Spielberg and Carl Gotlieb threw out huges chunks of the plot of JAWS because they sucked. So don’t give me this “blind fidelity to the source material” argument. Calling it “deux ex stool” was of course a reference to deux ex machina, which is exactly what the stool was–a totally unearned, very convenient plot device that provided a totally out-of-left-field third act for a movie that otherwise didn’t have one. It was bad writing on the page. It was bad cinema on the screen.

JACK RABBIT: I’m not sure why you take offense to that, I was careful not to be political at all. Yes, I am as liberal and anti-war as they come, but saying that we are not making the same sacrifices for the war that were made during WWII has nothing to do with a stance on the war. I’m sure Rush Limbaugh and plenty of those dudes would agree with what I said. I don’t think Eastwood meant the movie to be political and I know I didn’t want anybody to react to the review politically.
BIG TUNA: Like I said in the opening paragraph, Clint Eastwood is the motherfucking MAN. I pretty much just said he was the greatest human being alive. I believe I was the first person to review MILLION DOLLAR BABY on The Ain’t It Cool, and I loved it. The formatting is all fucked up now for some reason but the review is at http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=19080

I do think MYSTIC RIVER is overrated but then I think BLOODWORK is underrated. So it balances out. Anyway I would appreciate it if you never again question my loyalty to Clint Eastwood. That’s like calling me a traitor to my country and I will not stand for either of those accusations.

It is an anti-western. As anti-westerns go, it’s pretty good but a western it is decidedly not.

Bwahahaha. You mean there are no speeches in here about how we’re all so lonely that we CRASH into one another? I’m disappointed.

People and their intellectual elitist antagonism. They try to say things to be different and special, and to feel smarter than everyone else.

Maybe I’m just in “Turbo Pissy Mode” today, but ‘Red Sun, Black Sand’ is a much better title. What, do these idiots at Warner Bros. think that people won’t realize the thing’s about Iwo Jima unless they tell everyone super-liminally? Oh well, good to see they’re making creative decisions for the sake of art and posterity. Oh wait…

…it again. First it was Lanterns in the Wind, then Red Sun, Black Sand (which is the best title, and reminiscient of Eastwood’s White Hunter, Black Heart film title), now its the lame Letters from Iwo Jima. CHANGE IT BACK! Oh, and shortened subject lines on TBs SUCK!

I don’t really get the hate that goes aorund here for Mystic River. Very powerful film based on a masterpiece of a book. I thought it was incredibly well done. Why does everybody hate it. Oh and Clint will always be the Man.

…John Galt. I thought by using the word “unconventional” in my description of Unforgiven as a western (and, sorry, but if your story is about gunfighters and set in the old west, I’m calling it a western regardless if it meets some film school dork’s pre-established genre convention criteria). But apparently you either missed that qualifier or were just so eager to spout what you thought sounded like a more informed or sophisticated opinion that you gambled no one else noticing the way the term was couched. Good show.

and Neal McDonough was in Band of Brothers. And how the hell could Paul Walker deliver anything other than a pizza like he should be doing on a daily basis instead of working as an actor?

Or is there a Clint Eastwood vampire movie I’m not thinking of?

The review in variety said , with the exception of Beach, that the actors were “purposefully unspectacular” or something like that. Typically in a good war film you have accolades all over for the acting but you didnt really mention it. I wasn’t very enthused when Clint hired Ryan Phillipe, Jesse Bradford, and Paul Walker. Thats not exactly the creme de la crem of young Hollywood. Phillipe has only been good in Way of the Gun, besides that he cannot seem to get rid of the dickhead rich kid facial tics and lilt in his voice. Bradford, theres nothing particularly wrong with him but meh. And Paul Walker is just one of the worst actors to ever gain notoriety in Hollywood. I honestly dont know why you would root for him as hes clearly underserving of what he has. Thank God is role is small. This just seem like a good cast to be carrying a film.

Best just-for-your-entertainment-movie The Clint has ever made.

And I demand a Dirty Harry 6, too!

How MYSTIC RIVER and MDB get such praise. Honestly, I’m usually the guy who defends every movie, but here I get a strong sense of overratedness. With CRASH of course I get that sense multiplied by a zillion, but I’m not THAT alone on that. With the former two though I usually feel very very lonely.

(Like here) And then he just get the “one of the guys” independence? (TCSM 2 review) Let go Merrick, Vern has his own merits and does not need an introduction.

JOHN GALT: Okay dude, that’s fine. The movie doesn’t have anything even mildly resembling fidelity to the book, I’m just telling you that the particular part you criticized (which is what the movie is about, not some wacky addition at the end as you say) is one of the few parts where you gotta blame/credit Mr. Toole. He wrote a story about a boxer who breaks her neck on a stool, and Clint and friends adapted it into a movie. Toole gets credit for the neck break just like Benchley, in my opinion, gets credit for there being a shark in JAWS. As for anti-western, for fuck’s sake dude. You should’ve said that horse shit before so I would know not respond to your other comments.

YACKBACKER: Sorry I didn’t mention Polito, my cast list was already too long as it is (I finally show some restraint and I still get labelled ‘long’). I think Polito is only in one scene. He’s not in there too much.

LOVECRAFTFAN: I think most people in the real world respect MYSTIC RIVER. Personally I loved the middle but the plot twist at the end, although I know it’s from the book, completely destroyed the believability of the whole story and kind of ruined it for me. So it’s not one of my favorites even though he did a good job with it.

SEAN38: I don’t think Clint has fought vampires. I’m just saying if it came down to it he could pull it off, like Heston did (I believe Vincent Price and now Will Smith have also tried this out cinematically, but Clint would be doing it for real.)

So forgive that “why does vern is introduced” bullshit. Seriously “Why is vern introduced” is not that hard to type.

Its cool thought that he would give 2 percpectives. Not all the Japanese were bad. Its just what they had to do, not that im defending it.

Johnny Cash did a bang up job of honoring the “drunken injun” Ira Hayes way back in the day. It’s a killer of a boom-chicka-boom homage to this hero of Iwo Jima. Seek and ye shall find…the truth will set you free!

Good question. I think the acting is fine, but definitely not spectacular. Adam Beach is probaly the only one mentioned because he gets to cry a couple times. Honestly I think he comes the closest to overdoing it, although I may be having flashbacks to WINDTALKERS which still makes me mad when I think about it. What a great concept for a John Woo movie and then he (Woo, not Beach) turns it into garbage. Anyway, Phillippe sometimes bugs me too but I think he did pretty good in this one. Just not good enough to single out.

I agree that Paul Walker is hilariously wooden (although he was much better than I expected in RUNNING SCARED). But the reason I root for him is because every film nerd online hates him so much that it would be really amusing if he turned out to be a brilliant actor some day. It’s the same as me rooting for McG to become an respected director with WE ARE MARSHALL, but I actually like McG so in that case I think there is an outside chance of it really happening. Also that has the outside bonus of him having a ridiculous name. I was disappointed that the trailer doesn’t say “A film by McG.”

Looked way different before the typo gnomes came and messed it up!

should be in more movies. I would make 1000 war movies and put him in every one of them. I was sad when Buck Compton went crazy in Band of Brothers and he wasnt in it anymore.

He should play Duke in a GI Joe movie.

I would also put that guy that played Speirs in every movie too.

Those guys is badass.

The song “The Ballad of Ira Hayes” was written by Peter LaFarge and was recorded by Johnny Cash. It appears on several of his “Greatest Hits” packages. FYI.

Ira Hayes,

Ira Hayes

CHORUS:

Call him drunken Ira Hayes

He won’t answer anymore

Not the whiskey drinkin’ Indian

Nor the Marine that went to war

Gather round me people there’s a story I would tell

About a brave young Indian you should remember well

From the land of the Pima Indian

A proud and noble band

Who farmed the Phoenix valley in Arizona land

Down the ditches for a thousand years

The water grew Ira’s peoples’ crops

‘Till the white man stole the water rights

And the sparklin’ water stopped

Now Ira’s folks were hungry

And their land grew crops of weeds

When war came, Ira volunteered

And forgot the white man’s greed

CHORUS:

Call him drunken Ira Hayes

He won’t answer anymore

Not the whiskey drinkin’ Indian

Nor the Marine that went to war

There they battled up Iwo Jima’s hill,

Two hundred and fifty men

But only twenty-seven lived to walk back down again

And when the fight was over

And when Old Glory raised

Among the men who held it high

Was the Indian, Ira Hayes

CHORUS:

Call him drunken Ira Hayes

He won’t answer anymore

Not the whiskey drinkin’ Indian

Nor the Marine that went to war

Ira returned a hero

Celebrated through the land

He was wined and speeched and honored; Everybody shook his hand

But he was just a Pima Indian

No water, no crops, no chance

At home nobody cared what Ira’d done

And when did the Indians dance

CHORUS:

Call him drunken Ira Hayes

He won’t answer anymore

Not the whiskey drinkin’ Indian

Nor the Marine that went to war

Then Ira started drinkin’ hard;

Jail was often his home

They’d let him raise the flag and lower it

like you’d throw a dog a bone!

He died drunk one mornin’

Alone in the land he fought to save

Two inches of water in a lonely ditch

Was a grave for Ira Hayes

CHORUS:

Call him drunken Ira Hayes

He won’t answer anymore

Not the whiskey drinkin’ Indian

Nor the Marine that went to war

Yeah, call him drunken Ira Hayes

But his land is just as dry

And his ghost is lyin’ thirsty

In the ditch where Ira died

…Walker, you’re a nerd? There’s a reason people hate him, because he’s a SHIT actor who still managed to suck in Running Scared. He wasn’t believeable in the first SECOND he appeared onscreen. Its no exaggeration to say he’s the worst actor working today.

I have no problem with pretty boys if they’re decent actors and I suppose if I was in prison or at sea–wait, the point is, Paul Walker acts like he’s doing a Keanu Reeves circa 1991 impression. And not even a professional impression, more like a “I’m the guest host on SNL and my friends say I do a decent Keanu Reeves so I’d like to do it on a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch” impression.

As for Clint, he’s hit and miss as far as directors go. For every perfect film like Unforgiven there’s an overly sappy Million Dollar Baby. And enough with the jingoistic war movies. ENLIST! We get it.

I think he was reasonable in TF&TF and in Eight Below. CTU mentions Keanu and I think they are similar actors. They need a good director to get the best out of them. Save your real hate for Bay and Ratner ;-) And thanks Vern, I always enjoy reading your reviews and think you have the best film ‘sensibilities’ of the contributors to this site. Sorry sight.

A brother’s gots to get paid. I can’t act but if someone paid me to do it I’d take the money and put up with all the critics with a big ass smile on my face. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t suck. And Keanu isn’t so bad. He did turn down Speed 2, let’s not forget. That at least shows integrity. And I hear he knows kung fu.

Slow down bud, didn’t mean to insult you. Everybody calls themselves film geeks and film nerds, so I try to call them what they want and then they flip out on me. I did not mean it as a derogatory, I thought you people had reclaimed ownership of that one by now. What I meant was “the ladies and gentleman of the internet hate Paul Walker.” As exhibit A I present your post there. I’m not saying he IS brilliant, I’m saying it would be hilarious to see how people, including you, would react if the dude from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS suddenly turned out a Benicio Del Toro level showstopper. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I do think he has a certain too-nice-for-me-to-hate-him likability behind his stiffness, though. I call him “America’s team captain.”

Nice review. Thank you.

…I will eat my own head.

…he’s done what he’s had to do, got his chapter in movie history, got his Oscars and just making what the hell he likes…do you think any other filmmaker would have tried to make two films about both perspectives? Would anyone have even considered it? Nah, Clint did because he’s Clint and Clint doesn’t give a fuck and does what Clint wants. Looking forward to both these films btw, especially Letters…

How about if Eastwood wins you give me head? Just kidding. I wonder what other competing directors will be up for the director award.

Though I haven’t seen Million Dollar…I’m a big Charlie Parker fan and was sorely dissappointed with BIRD. And everything else he’s done. I’ll pass.

Don’t know about this one. It seems as though this has the same look and feel as SPR. These days, if you’ve seen them once, you’ve seen them all.

Eastwood directed High Plains Drifter, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Sudden Impact, Pale Rider, and Unforgiven. I can see not liking M$B and Mystic River, but I can’t see being disappointed with EVERYTHING he’s ever directed. Granted he hit his peak early with HPD, but still.

Quote of the year!

Oh shit. I totally forgot about about Unforgiven! DUH! I’m at work and a bit pre- occupied. And you know what? I love Josey Wales and didn’t even know he directed it! Double DUH! I stand thoroughly corrected. Thanks!

And i expect it to blow the shriveled balls off FLAGS. All of the German-perspective films have been more interesting then the billions of USA RAH RAH ones released since WW2, of course you’ll never see a German-perspective film made by an american director unless you have a true renegade like Sam Pekinpah where his “Cross of Iron” makes every US war film look like an embarrasment and along with the West German made “Stalingrad: Dogs do you want to live forever?” (1958) are probably the best Axis war films ever. I hope that the next big WWII movie Germany makes after Der Untergang (they seem to make one big one every couple of years) will be on the battle of Kursk. The fact that only one obscure Soviet film had been made on what is considered to be the largest armored and aircraft battle in the history of the human race is sad. I’d relish it to be told from the German side, mostly, and to take it even a level further, from the view of a waffen-ss soldier (who were pretty much spearheading it along with all the heavy tiger /elefant tanks); the battle would make the D-Day recreation in Ryan look like a beach tea party. Of course he’d question the ideology he’s been taught to not make him nazi. I await the day for it is inevitable there will be a film made on this titanic struggle eventually even if decades from now.

If this is “minor” Eastwood, well thank fucking god he’s graced us with a “minor” movie. Like Altman and Scorese I treasure that he is still with us and making films and will go see what he’s puting into theaters on faith. He is one of the few directors that has earned the benefit of the doubt from me.

LARRY: I completely agree. I hope he keeps going. I especially hope he gets a chance to throw in a less “serious” one like BLOODWORK at some point, but I’ll be thankful for what I can get.

TOM: Every god damn thing in the world reminds you of King Kong. You’re fuckin obsessed, man. How on God’s green earth can you justify bringing up King Kong in a Flags Of Our Father talkback? There’s no way to do it. You need help bud, I’m not joking. I know you can get better if you admit your problem, seek help and have the right support in place. If you need someone to talk to I’ll be here… until you mention King Kong (most likely using some awkward Cracked Magazine parody title involving Jurassic Park) and then I will bail on you. “Sir Petey?” Holy hell, Tom. Get it taken care of.

Box, you’re not afraid to use it! Like a kid with a new toy. Nice of you to respond, though.

…’Triassic Kong’ and ‘Big Stoopid Monkey’ don’t really seem like insults, if you ask me. I mean, he was in a land before time and he was a big, slightly stupid monkey. Shrug.

fucking shortened subject lines… Anyway, lets all have a group hug and stop the hating. Be like me and make October Van Damme month, yesterday was Knock Off and tonight should be Replicant. Yes a month of Van Damme goodness, that is what brings joy to the world. Oh and Kong was flacid and overlong, but it wasn’t horrible…

That post of yours would be far more convincing if at any stage in the thousands of words in his review of ‘FOOF’, or indeed in his six posts so far in this talkback, Vern had referred to Seagal EVEN ONCE. Yes, Vern likes Seagal, but not as much as you seem to like shoehorning hatred of King Kong (which mostly bored me BTW) into irrelevant stuff.

should both have benifit of the doubt for whatever they put out doesn’t matter what it is. good review Vern.

What a cockend eh?

I am kind of surprised that more people focus criticism on the fact that the stool was in the ring, as opposed to the fact that Swank’s opponent attacked her after the bell rang to end the round yet was not DQ’d/jailed/arrested, etc. for such an egregious (sp?)breach of the rules – a breach of Tyson ear-biting proportions. But regardless, if you are reading this and you are one of the many who didn’t care for the film then you have to at least give Eastwood his props for making a fantastically crafted movie. Between his use of light, the dialogue, and the score, it’s amazing. And, for those who think Eastwood “needs Prozac,” I appreciate the pace and tone of many of his movies. Perhaps as he gets older there are things that he has learned about the world, about himself, about his art, that he feels should be applied to the movies he makes…movies that I may have thought boring when I was younger but now find artful and wellcrafted. Spielberg, I imagine, is going through a similar albeit longer maturation process that started with Schindler’s List.

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

6. Apologizing to Vern for that bullshit

Come on man, I didn’t mean to set you off, but I felt like I had to say something. If you’re not bringing up Seagal in my talkbacks you’re bringing up Peter Jackson. I’m writing a book about Seagal’s movies so I have an excuse. Why don’t you write one on “Sir Petey” and we’ll trade and then we can be friends again. thanks ringwearer.

You are a liberal so yes you are a traitor to your country to God and to all decency.No offense

Vern, seriously, I hope your name in real life (not on the Internets) is Jesus. Because that would mean you’re the saviour. Or Mexican. Either way, you’d be pretty cool – which it seems like you are. But I can’t understand how you liked MILLION DOLLAR BABY – the message of the story is “if you’re a girly girl woman person-with-breasts, don’t box, cuz even if you look like a man and played one in some other movie you’ll get killed. HAHA GIRLS DROOL YAY AMERICA.” I believe that was even on the teaser poster, though I may be mistaken.

And I didn’t think it was particularly “well-crafted” either, whatever that means (I think that has to do with how the surgeons reconstructed skin over Skeletor’s face for his role as Clint Eastwood). It was poorly lit and AWFULLY edited (jump cuts? cutting away actor’s reactions? fuck yeah!), and as you yourself said – Haggis. I find the writer/director even more repulsive than the Scottish delicacy. They’re both disgusting foreign tubes of meat. Haggis hatred aside, though, I’ve liked a few of Eastwood’s films.

Frankly, I’m just burnt the fuck out on WWII movies. And Holocaust movies. And war movies in general. Because “our” soldiers always end up being right, and conspicuously more handsome and charming than real-life military types. And “they” always end up being wrong, and even if they’re Nazis they end up talking like “sucky fucky 5 dorrah.”

The only war movie I’m really waiting for is Kim Jong Il’s self-directed biopic, “HORY FRICKIN GOD IS KIM JONG IL BRIRRIANT? YES”: THE KIM JONG IL SAGA: THE MUSICAL. I hear they offered Sean Penn the role of Dubya.

Waaahhh… it was too complicated! Wahhh! I wish Joss Whedon had made it so we could have some karate and plastic characters with a handful of cool lines… waahh!

I thought Die Hard was your favorite movie? Clint never has a scratch on him in any movie; McClane get punished in every movie and STILL wins.

RAZORBACK: I agree, that would be the worst review ever if I had said that.

COMEDIAN: Clint had to get a heart transplant in BLOODWORK. Beat that, Bruce! Bruce is one of the all time greats, Clint IS the all time great.

Getting one’s heart ripped out is truly great.

Haven’t you seen The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly? Clint gets dragged through the desert by Tuco and his face looks all nasty and dried up.

only he calls it taxi rider! lol..

Clint. Hands down.

So you said this:

“You are a liberal so yes you are a traitor to your country to God and to all decency.No offense”

Your lack of grammar is only slighty less offensive to the fact that someone finally called you out, and the best you can do it insult (poorly) his idealogy. Vern is, at least, consistant and IN PRINT. Where is your website? Where is your book?…and your second… Oh….next year…after you finally move out of mom’s garage. Its okay, I know, it hard…just keep looking for AWESOME adjectives to use in front of KONG.

Vern,

are you really writing a book about Seagal, or was that a joke ?

If so i presume it’s some kind of tragedy depicting his rise and fall.

I must check out those DTDVD masterworks

He’s the same individual (new screen name) who used to always talk about “Breakdancing Wizards” in refernce to LOTR and call Harry “Harold.” I seem to recall you staging a talkback intervention on his behalf and he went ultrapyscho and got his screename banned.

In any case, the talkbackers seem extra angry today! Everybody’s flying off the handle, cranky cranky.

I really like Adam Beach (though not enough to sit through Windtalkers) so I still might see this… definitely on board for the Japanese one, though.

This talkback took at least two extra helpings of crazy after I logged off yesterday. I think you ought to get some kind of cyber-stalker restraining order against Tom bodet, Vern. The guy’s clearly been trying to copy your shtick (that whole bit on developoing Internet personae was just creepy) and, now that you’ve called him on it, he’s liable to go all Single White Female on you. And then you’ve got Rothman, who’s obvuiously got some sor tof bowel obstruction forcing shit in the wrong direction so it’s coming out his mouth (assuming he says what he types as he types it, as all good folks should). Don’t let the Toms of the world get you down, Vern. The rest of us love you just the way you are.

Just saying is all… And for my money Clint’s best movie is The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Shame he got banned, that was a cool name.

Vern should remember that name well. Reminds me of the good ol’ days when Ringbearer9 was in full-throttle mode with Goatzinger bringing up the loony rear.

He earned a permanent spot on my Talkbacker shitlist with his endless harping on the Saruman-Gandalf fight. Do you think ANY OTHER FILMMAKER besides “Sir Petey Jax” could have resisted using big primary-colorful blazing meteors of CGI to represent magical force?

The fact Jackson didn’t render the wizards’ magic BIG GLOWING naked-eye visible is a master stroke. Only Jackson and co. are so diligent that they understood the nature of magic in Tolkein’s world, which is… well, frankly I only grasped this via lots of drug use, I’ll skip the lecture… but anyway, Jackson nailed it (as with everything else in Fellowship) and GoatZinger harping on it as if it was a weakness really pissed me off!

In other news, for me the good ol’ days are UserIDIndeed!, Chicken George, etc. At least FluffyUnbound is still around… man, talk about ephemeral nostalgia…

DRINKS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE, hp asserting that an actress enthusiastically enjoys anal sex, Cap’n Lou getting stuck in a snowbank and missing his cameo…

It’s a TALKBACK REMINISCENCE that’s TIRESOME!

I feel that maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. I’ll give it a shot when Harry ‘reviews’ the Grindhouse movie(s)…

That must be why he’s so pissed at me, this whole time I was confusing him with Ringwearer, but he was Goatzinger. Two totally different Noun-verbers. Or were they the same guy? I don’t remember but I’m thinking yes since both are obsessive arch nemesese to Peter Jackson, who they refer to only by pet name. Anyway I believe Goatzinger was so crazy and belligerent that at one point I attempted to adopt him and teach him how to be a nice guy in talkbacks. If that’s the same guy then I blew it with this one because “Tom Bodet” was always annoying and repetitive, but not really an asshole, until I set him off. Whoops.

As for Tom Rothman, I assumed he was just trying to get a rise out of me, but if he was serious he deserves a response even less.

Finally, good point about Bruce getting heart surgery in Sin City. But we probaly shouldn’t be measuring badassness based on this. Even Seagal, who usually doesn’t even bleed in a movie, died and was resuscitated in HALF PAST DEAD. That is why it is called HALF PAST DEAD. (that was for you Goatzinger, I mentioned Seagal for you.)

I find the various bannishments delivered by AICN to be rather hilarious. These boards are such a “No Man’s Land” that I think it takes a certain panache to get oneself banned. And there have been some DOOZIES in the past. We’ve often speculated about what happens to all those posts that are lost when a TalkBacker is banned – are they kept in some hidden vault-like page on AICN? I like to imagine that Harry & Co. share a special key that allows them to view all those glorious rants, jibes, and trolling masterpieces. Alas, I fear we will never see them again. The only thing we have going for us is the hope (I use that word lightly) that these bannished brethren return to us under a new guise. I’m sure we have a couple on this particular thread right now…

And he got sucked out of a pressurized airplane and fell to his death in Executive Decision. Beat that, Eastwood.

I don’t believe Ringb(w)earer and Goatzinger/Tom Bodet are the same person. Although, they did fly a pretty tight formation in the weeks leading up to “King Kong” (and were subsequently banned at virtually the same time). However, they each bore personal trademarks that were pretty easy to distinguish…despite the somewhat manic shadow-looniness.

I fear that one more Harry review of a QT or RR movie might send me over the edge. The Blade 2 cunnilingus review, and now just a teaser for Grindhouse gets us ‘Titanium Penis’ … shudder…

Just to clear things up, I’m the dedicated A-Hole, Goatzinger is a fairly nice guy. I vaguely remember I thought your “intervention” was a little cruel, which impelled me to pick on you for it (I called you a liar or something, for some opinion you held), which got me banned (Mori is quite fond of you). Anyway, being that you are normally a man of good taste and intelligence, those of us who hate Kong are still puzzled and hurt by your defection to the Dark Side. But 99% of the time, I still think your reviews are awesome, and great fun to read, and despite some snotty comments I made about DIE HARD, you, and only you could have done this, have convinced me to rewatch them in the proper spirit of Macho-Appreciation (someday). I regret my part in bringing about these hard feelings between Vern and Goatzinger. May we all unite in our appreciation of Clint Eastwood’s “Man With No Name.”

…if you are determined to go out in a blaze of glory, make it the most memorable scorched-earth rant you can!

zfisk.

… do apologize to Vern. He’s out there, speaking his Truth about “Flags of Our Fathers” and you bring up Kong. Give the man his props, don’t harp on that silly movie, a movie that carried all in the tidal wave of it’s Hype. Oh, and Vern, in your magnanimity, you could ask the Powers That Be to give Tom back his Goatzinger nickname. I’m sure that would heal his wound a little.

Every single actor (except for the mutant Sondra Locke, as usual) was just *perfect* for his/her role. Actually, Sondra Locke was not even as bad as usual in this movie. What an amazing cast. Endeavor to Perservere!!

“Timeline.”

I hope to God nobody else saw that movie. Most people couldn’t begin to make a movie that bad, even if they tried. Sweet Jeebus, it was awful (offal?)

I took Tom Bodet’s word for it when he said he wasn’t you, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna take YOUR word for it that you’re not him. If you want me to believe you’re not him, you’re gonna have to post as him explaining why you love DIE HARD. thanks bud.

Didn’t know “filmatic” was a word…wait a minute…

who thought at least 70% of the people posting on this board were really alternate IDs of one guy?

That would probably be zfisk (formerly known as “homewrecker). He believed everyone was an alternate ID of the venerable DocPazuzu. Zfisk/homewrecker is/was truly a piece of work = a wackjob of incredible proportions.

This place certainly attracts a higher class of dribbling maniac than the rest of the web…

…what better moment than now for me to chime in? Joshing aside, I must say that Vern vs. GoatZinger II always seemed to me to be an inevitability. TomBodet’s posts in the Vern talkbacks always had an edge to them, as if he couldn’t quite get over the banning thing and was seething under the surface. It was just a matter of time before hostilities once more erupted.

Where you been? On Sabaticle? For a while there I thought you had been banned. To be fair I am visiting less often at the moment due to a lack of films that really hook my interest. Now it seems Zodiac isn’t what I had hoped for either. Sigh… Oh well, at least we have the new Spiderman movie to look forward to, I can almost smell the flames from here! ;-)